yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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