I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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