Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
