Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
this is an emotional support booty call
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
