Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
