Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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