i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
