This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
