So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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