I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We have started to decorate penises.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
