apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
