I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
