im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
