I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I need a burrito and a hug.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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