she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
