I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
