i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
