Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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