one might say we're banned from that church
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
