Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
