Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he puts the penis in happiness.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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