bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
