drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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