I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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