I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
