Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
