I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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