You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
