she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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