I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
