Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
