so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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