There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
