JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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