fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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