he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
