Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
