i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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