Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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