yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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