FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
