I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
