jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The Olympian is in my bed
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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