yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
