I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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