let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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