what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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