i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
