I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize