I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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