just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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