Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We got so high we made milksteak
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
