I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
This is classic penis vs brain.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
