Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
